Thursday, December 1, 2011

Text From Bennett. The Funniest Ever

These are text messages i exchange with my 17 year old cousin bennett. he is a white boy that thinks he's a crip, works at amoco, has a girlfriend named mercedes, and is one of the most unintentionally funny and brilliant souls on the planet. He has no idea i do this blog. Yes, this is 100% real..













474 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 400 of 474   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

CTFU!!!! I'm @ work crying laughing, my stomach hurt.......LMAO

Jay said...

HUSTLA DA RABBIT!!! hahahahahaha where can we weet this guy lol

Anonymous said...

Laughing so hard I'm crying at work... and I'm actually planning on naming my son, Bennett....
We all want to meet him! HAHA

Anonymous said...

LMAO! I was dyingggggg when i read "HUSTLA DA RABBIT!"

Flashynista said...

What da hell just happened on this blog. *confused* yet *laughing hard as hell*

Imani said...

ROTFLMAO....Bennett almost made me choked on my cough drop. That was so hilarious!!!!!!!!

pinkthrowup said...

Did you get to meet the Mexican girlfriend?

Anonymous said...

ROFLAMO!!! I SWEAR I DID A OLD MAN SMOKERS COUGH!! CRIED, LAUGHED ,A ND DAMN NEAR PEED LAUGHING!!! BENNETT IS MY HERO HAHA!!! I WILL USE THIS FOR A DAY LIFTER FOREVER LMAO!! VINCE VAUGHN ..LMAO!!

Sodoma said...

Joining illuminati got me! This is hilarius! :D

Jodie Breana Darnell said...

OMG this is way too funny.... I dont even know what to say but... WOW.... Please keep these coming! :)

Anonymous said...

I just had surgery and my cousin thought this would make me chuckle, and I LITERALLY busted a stitch laughing...I LOVE Bennett..

Ceejay@ Cheap cell phone said...

This is the funniest thingy ama read this year. Lol at your cousin.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE!!!! keep them coming

Anonymous said...

OMG I can't stop crying from laughing. Red Ruby Indian ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Lmao funniest shit ever!!! Keep it coming XD!!

arrianem85 said...

Too funny... You need to get more of this!

Kiana H. said...

this is fucking funny.... haha i almost pee'd my pants lol

RedBoneJ said...

That was hilarious as helll!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is moronic. Not once did I even smile. Obviously fake and trying to hard. If you are finding this funny then maybe you are retarded

Billy Druid said...

Best blog ever.

Anonymous said...

I love it when he calls you an idiot. Hahahaha. Now I have to go out and buy a bunny just to name him Hustla Da Rabbit.

Anonymous said...

This is awesome!

Shasta M. Wyatt said...

It's so funny because I know so many people that post on facebook in that "language" and I laugh at them all the time! I want to edit their posts whenever I see one but I am just too nice. I should be like you and blog about it....haha.

Anonymous said...

How are these two even related? If they are related how are they friends? Wow, this guy has to be kidding!!!!

Anonymous said...

LMAO poor Bennett

Anonymous said...

i like when he says youre dumb lmao.

LALA said...

that is some funny shit real talk i cant stop laughing!!

Anonymous said...

He's funny but not that funny...no i was lying he's more on the wired(ish) side but i bet you can have a shit load of funny hanging with'em

Anonymous said...

Lmao Bennett is a hot mess

Anonymous said...

I dont think ive ever laughed this hard in my life. god bless your cousin.

Anonymous said...

this guy needs to go back to jail and stay there, he is an animal!

Anonymous said...

i think you texted this shit to yourself honestly :)

ILuvMyBabe said...

Lol I Like This Cuz Iht Goes Absulutly NOWHERE Ahhaha

Anonymous said...

That shit had me weak!!! I was in tears almost! Anytime I started having I would text him just to get a laugh

Anonymous said...

Oh my. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. I am a teacher and this SO reminds me of many of my students. What a priceless transcript.

Anonymous said...

Bless his heart......Bennett...why?

Adam's Blog said...

Nigga this shit funny as fuck.

Anonymous said...

oh bennett lmao bless him

single mom of 3 said...

is bennett for real? bennett thanks for making my night better... thanks for the laugh.. looking at other crazy people always makes me feel better.. oh by the way i think you should take an English class , oh with spelling as a focus... wow you are some work.. but loves it.. keep being that bosshog gangsta

808Goddess said...

That made my night, he's wild !!

Anonymous said...

Ctfu!!!! Tht shit 2 funny!!! But why do u have a 3g phone???

Jessica Dee said...

OMG!!!!! MY STOMACH HURTS..... THATS TOOOO FUNNY!!!!!

DJ said...

Holy Ef. Bennett is a DUMB ASS WIGGER. hahahaha wow.................. GO TO SCHOOL this is soooo embarrassing...sad though to know that he's gonna go NOWHERE in life...unless he gets famous for being stupid...which...is totally possible..

Anonymous said...

wow! that shit is hilarious! im crying im laughing so hard

Anonymous said...

Lmfaooooooooooo alright alright alright wtf i fckn love him he's too funny

Anonymous said...

This isn't your cousin. Give credit where credit is due.
http://textsfrombennett.tumblr.com/

piggy said...

Omg dis dude is tooooo damn funny i cnt stop laughn

Bash said...

OMG that shit was funny as fuck like... omg!!! He definitely is a Moron ... I couldn't stop laughing

sweetie said...

To funny.........wow!

Anonymous said...

The best laugh I've had in days...I needed that!!

Elizabeth said...

OMG If this is for real this is the funniest thing I've ever read. Your cousin is a f*ckin fool. LMAO.

Anonymous said...

lm@o...omfg, ya cousin is a true damn fool....lm@o....

Anonymous said...

#DEADDDDDDDD This shyt here is too funny! "Lasanya doesn't make noise when u eat it thats y wayne said real g's move in silence like lasanya" *Flatlines*

Anonymous said...

FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!! HAHAHAHAHA... THIS JUST MADE MY NIGHT! TOO FUNNY ^_^ @MzBrina

Fresh Prince ATX said...

Them texts got me gasping for air I'm laughing so hard. Especially at that lasagna text and the Thanksgiving one lmmfao!

Anonymous said...

Best part had to be about HUSTLA THE RABBIT! Im done. xD almost sffacated cuz i couldnt breathe from laughing so dam hard. Lmao New ones need to b posted daily. xD LMMFAO

Anonymous said...

LMAOOOOOOO! I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! JAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!HAAHAHAHAHAHAJAAHHAJAJAJAJAJAJAJJJKAK!

Jordan said...

BAHAHAHAHA i never heard about anyone dumber than this Bennett needs to go learn a few things!!!

Anonymous said...

So funny! Can you please get him into some type of educational program?

Dominique Douglas said...

Just plainly awesome

twist_it_up said...

damn some of these people are rude as fuck lol bennett is way too funny im sure he n kev just fuck around with each other but it aint coo to call a brotha out on random dumbass messages im sure we all have that special person u laugh at on ur phone if not then you must be that person ppl laugh at

Anonymous said...

Wow.... just, wow. I cannot believe the words that I just read. That is unbelievably funny. Please keep this going. He's too much of an idiot to keep this to yourself.

NOMI said...

OMG, this is hilarious. Please keep texting Bennett. I'm wiping tears.

Anonymous said...

U BETTER BE CAREFUL, U DONT WANT BAD BOY GANGSTA TO DROWN UR CAR TOO.. LOL

Akay Marie said...

hahaha funniest shit i've read in a while.

Anonymous said...

Frisby dipped in poison had me dyin!!!! Lawd u need to make a website wit nothin but this shit!!!

Anonymous said...

he needs too goo back too school , he really don't know how too spell ! smh

Anonymous said...

Wtf wrong with bennet..he need serious help...shit to funny

Romeo Alexander Williams said...

This has got to be the funniest shit on the web. Your cousin needs a reality show.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I'm crying right now from laughing so hard.... How random is he right now!

Anonymous said...

Lls..man that boy is stupid..keep it coming..

Anonymous said...

I Love Bennett

Anonymous said...

lmao he is special.

Anonymous said...

Forgive me for being skeptical if I'm wrong, but I think this is fake. I very much doubt these are real conversations. They're too carefully calculated to be funny (and they are very funny indeed) in a consistent way with a certain comical timing. I just find it unlikely these conversations just happened.

And if I'm wrong, that is pretty sad.

Ben C said...

ROFLMAO!!! that dude is hilarious

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO!!!!! WARNING WARNING DO NOT READ THIS WHILE SMOKING A BLUNT UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE THE FIRST MARIJUANA CASUALTY!!! but yo lil cousin is hilarious! please post more in the future bro!! out

Anonymous said...

Wow! This is really sad.... Whats wrong with him?

Anonymous said...

OMG... There should be a pregnancy warning on this... I laughed so much, I almost went into labor lmao

Anonymous said...

This is fukin hilarious reminds me of b rabbit from scary movie three

Anonymous said...

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Moonytoonz said...

Lol, Omg. i choked on my pasta while reading this. Awesome :)

Anonymous said...

This crap is no where near funny..it shows how stupid both of them R...Kevin may B funng at times but honestly he's getting 2 the point 2 where his stuff is stupid and u can tell he try's 2 hard...

Anonymous said...

The reason Kevin has so many unread txt is bcuz he was 2 busy making up this totally stupid txt that was no where near funny..so while u's was/is laughing im thinking Stupid is as stupid does....stupid will laugh at stupid

Anonymous said...

I dont get it? whats so funy?

Mark Wins said...

backround. ingenious spelling, because when i say backround, I'm still saying background. Never realized how unimportant the letter g in that word.

Anonymous said...

To think the guy "bennet" is stupid you must be stupid, to be able to make such jokes he needs to be aware of wtf is going on most of the time. Especially about the indian joke. I bet you the ones commented that he is a retard can't even make any jokes IRL. :) Good shit man whoever posted this i laughed.

Anonymous said...

Damn your popular 150 plus unmesseges! Wooooooowwwwwww!!!

Ash Romance said...

Lol lmao I swear I cant stop these tears.i need this guy as my friend!! He's hilarious haha

Anonymous said...

Ahahahaha!!! He reminds me of my cousin D!!!! Omfg!!!!!! I'm dying over here!!!!!

Timmy Longfellow said...

Dyin laughin... you gotta love family. Please...Keep em comin.

Anonymous said...

Lmao @the mexican part!

Anonymous said...

Laugh it up, but there's a million more kids like Bennet out there and growing. This is the future generation and we are all fucked.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious, I seriously was not just wiping away tears. I cried a steady stream from busting a gut... Came back 6 hours later and the same thing happened.. I really would love if more of these came =]

Anonymous said...

NATURAL COMEDIAN! Lol. Tgw funniest part is that Bennets serious!! Bwahaha Hes trying too hard! Signed a SNOB

Dori said...

I have some pretty funny cousins but none like Bennett. smh

@C_JerelleTweet said...

lmaooooo too damn funny!!!!!! good to know that bennett was serious about EVERYTHING he said lol

Anonymous said...

Lol. This is crazy funny. Bennett thinks dude is the dumb one. He keeps calling him an idiot an dumass..... Now that's funny. Oriental lasanya- classic. Wassup with all the unchecked messages? Dude, check yo shit

MissJennifersStruggle said...

He is famous!! Those are text messages that Mac Lethal (google him) share with his cousin Bennett. While you're at it go on YouTube and search "nerdy white kid, look at me now."

Sa-Kai Nelson said...

Ur cuzin need to come to brooklyn... these girls out here wud set his ass right str8. lol

Anonymous said...

This guy is Hilarious!!! Eddie Murphy shot me this link...

Anonymous said...

Poster child for the current generation.

Anonymous said...

Bennegt! Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

This is kinda funny but more sad. He cant b serious! This guy has 2 b da dumbest nigga on earth. Plez get him sum help!!!!!!!!!

Excel Marketing Services said...

That ish is tooo funnyyyy

inkwell said...

Pls keep the posts from ur cuzzo comin....he is sooooo funny lmmfao!

Jo said...

O.M.G! I wish I could be this funny. Hilarious, Bennett is the man! Please, continue to save and post his text messages. They are awesome!

Anonymous said...

Lmfao I'd like 2 bull$hit wit thi$ dude juz 2 get a daily chuckle

Sunny said...

That ish is too funny...

Anonymous said...

OMFG I'm CRYING!!!!! I want to hug his parents tho.

Roxy said...

I honestly don't remember when I would've last laughed this much within just 10 minutes.

Thank you, this made my day!

♥; http://ruxanne.blogspot.com

Jay said...

iPhone spell check can be turned off.

Anonymous said...

So funny, I feel like a good number of my friends acted like this when they were in high school, and now are highly successful business people. Hilarious.
Please post a pic of Bennett in his most thug attire! lol

Anonymous said...

I am DYING laughing. PLEASE post more!

Anonymous said...

I see the education system worked real well for him. Wow, at least I know where my tax dollars will be going for the rest of my life.

Anonymous said...

If this is real, why do you always have over 100 messages in your text inbox?

Beba said...

You HAVE to keep this blog going!!
I think everyone needs a "Bennet" in their life.
This is hilarious so please dont stop posting...your becoming my "go to guy" when I need a laugh, my laughing outlet, lol.

Anonymous said...

LMFAO HE IS TOO FUNNY LOL

Victor Rivera said...

Lmfao, I've been telling everyone to read these since yesterday haha ... BTW @Sliktor104

Anonymous said...

okay, it was funny, but it proves whats wrong with this generation. we cuss too much. and he's a felon. stupid white boy.

sexykinjal said...

good one...

http://mungopics.blogspot.com/2011/12/sunny-leone-new-pictures.html

sexykinjal said...

you can have more fun at http://www.friendsbuddy.in/web

Anonymous said...

oh my god I am literally crying from laughing so hard!!! please post more i could read your conversations all day!

Everyone'sChild said...

It, honest to God, gets funnier every time I read it.

Anonymous said...

This was absolutely hilarious.

Anonymous said...

This is everyone in Georgia, sadly. I want to move so bad....

Mo said...

Ok ok lmfaoo this dude cant spell or stay on the same subject smmfh

Anonymous said...

Linda you fucking cunt! ahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

More please!

Anonymous said...

WOW!! I think my IQ dropped 20 points after reading that. Over half of the words in the text was missed spelled. Did you even make it out of grade school? You should pick up a dictionary sometime, and while you are at it, you should try some hooked on phonics too.

Tanya said...

WOW! Real g'z move in silence like "lasanya" lmfao!!!!!! too funny. I love this guy, can we have a dinner for schmucks?

Melixer said...

Omg!! Made me laugh & cry!! TFF!! I would luv to read more, keep us posted!

Anonymous said...

lmfao that shit was hilarious

diananayeli said...

Love this haha

Anonymous said...

I really want to text your cousin.

Anonymous said...

this would be funny if the town im in isnt already full of these people. god this is just sad.

Anonymous said...

Okay so I am dying laughing right now. I swear... he should be in one of your stand up shows... he'd have people pissin their pants!

Anonymous said...

AAAAAYYYYOOOO! THAT HAD ME CRYING TEARS IT WAS SO FUNNY! You cant make that up

Anonymous said...

This kid scares the living hell out of me. He does not give me hope for the future.

And for the love of god, tell him to wear a condom!

Anonymous said...

i didn't think such stupidity existed...i was wrong.

GangstaDaRabbit said...

Lmfaoo!! HI-Larious

Anonymous said...

LMFAO!! Bennett is TOO damn funny! Reading this had me rolling big time!!

Anonymous said...

Too funny!! lol

synica said...

Ctfu omg diss is the most funniest thing i ever read so far ctfu funni a hell

Anonymous said...

LMAOOO IM DEAD THIS IS SOOO FUNNY THAT DUDE SOUNDS LIKE YUH WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO STOP LAUGHING WEN UR AROUND HIM

Anonymous said...

WAAB....wow I'm speechless

Anonymous said...

is this for real?
i hope that no one is this stupid, lol, he is amazing, would LOVE to meet this bennett, lol

Anonymous said...

Lmao !! This is jus waaaay to funny

Anonymous said...

Who does he think is, im not sure why anyone of you guys would find this funny. I guess americans find it funny when their child curses at them. Smh. Or when a white kid perpetuates black stereotypical actions, but if this kids was black none of this would be funny.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I hope that wasn't real txts between two people. That is the most ignorant person I have ever, seen I guess.

Anonymous said...

smh - wow! someone is special! lol

Anonymous said...

Theres more.....right? This ish is tooo funny!

tankgrrrl said...

"Anonymous said...

Ummm..wouldn't the auto spell function on an iPhone correct all of this misspellings?" Actually, it shows that the person who posted this has an Iphone. The reason why Sir Bennets texts aren't autocorrected because he probably has a different phone brand. But this was oh my god!

Anonymous said...

Has anyone else noticed how many text messages this guy hasn't read? Always over a hundred. Who the fuck is this guy NOT responding to and why haven't they given up texting him?

Andrea said...

Keep him coming! He is too funny!

iready7312 said...

This is funny no matter what. Bennett thinks the other dude is dumb or should I say dumass... The lasayna comment is hilarious. And look at how many messages dude has! Wow, check ur shit dude

Anonymous said...

XDDD Awesome!! I wish my cousins were that...special!:D

vallerie said...

OMG!! I wish he had my # so I can text him!! this would totally make my day!! but tell him to hit me up on fb!!

http://www.facebook.com/boyluvX3#!/boyluvX3

Anonymous said...

OMG This has been the funniest shit ever...most random retarded ass conversation I've ever heard lmfao 4real

thegirl said...

The funniest part about this?? Is people are talking all kinds of crap about bennett being YOUR ignorant cousin and they didn't even realize that this is from some other dude's tumblr and you were just sharing it.

NAE said...

OMG the shit is soo damn hilarious....were did your cousin go to school cause he is crazy lmao...man you gotta keep posting these they are too funny i wanna read more

Anonymous said...

I'm a man and I love the way other mens' dicks taste. Just saying.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Too bad Bennett's not real...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-user-polls/post/rapper-mac-lethal-on-texts-from-bennett-tumblr-rapping-about-pancakes-and-more/2011/12/02/gIQAzDjCLO_blog.html

Anonymous said...

HUSTLA DA RABBIT

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm the only one who wasn't laughing that hard. It was funny but not "Omg It Was So Funny I Have Tears Coming Out My Eyes" Type Funny. o_O

platnumprncess97 said...

I wish he would post everyday....sec need that laugh

Anonymous said...

LMFAO omg why the hell haven't you whupped your cousins ass in front of his friends yet?

Anonymous said...

DRAKE STILL A BITCH

Anonymous said...

What u a clown lol

Anonymous said...

I didn't find it funny at all , but that could be because I didn't understand a word of it. My two year old niece has better grammar than that . Wow

tygras said...

Omg...Bennett Is my hero...still lmao....

Anonymous said...

Bennett you are sad and ignorant. In fact your text messages were so ignorant that reading them weren't at all funny to me.

Anonymous said...

That nigga prolly high the whole damn time

jcamcameo said...

OMG DIS NIGGA RUDE AS FUCK LIVE!!!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!! XDDD

Anonymous said...

My friend said i'm funnier then Bennet.. Isn't that a bad thing??

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! This dude is an ignoramus lol.

Anonymous said...

I think that your coudin is a fucking nut job.

Anonymous said...

Yo cousin is stupid as shit...is he retarded?

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh thats beyond crazy funny, i stopped laughin long enough to read the next one then was laughin all over again lol <3<3

Anonymous said...

OMG HIS WAS SOOO DAMN FUNNY

Anonymous said...

OMG too funty

Anonymous said...

That is.. not funny really.. Sad to be exact :(

Cream Da P said...

Smh...dumb

andycruz23 said...

a tv show should be based off of your cousin. funniest show EVER!

Anonymous said...

He seems oblivious to his own stupidity... You should introduce him to the text prediction feature on his phone. His texts might not make all that much more sense, but more words might be spelled correctly.

Anonymous said...

"im gonna sew them for being prejadiss"

I had to read that three times to make sure I wasn't imagining things.

My favorite was the response to, "she dont got a ruby in her forhead so i can lie and say she is mexican"

And to the ones who keep saying we're stupid for laughing at this and "if this kids was black none of this would be funny": No, we're not, and yes, it would. The fact that he's white does add an extra eye-roll factor, but being black wouldn't give him any kind of excuse; he would still be unpardonably stupid. And even if Bennett isn't real, there are real people who are just as bad. This is the kind of stuff you have to laugh at or you'll go insane.

To quote Hobbes (from "Calvin and Hobbes"): "If we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life."

Anonymous said...

So in conclusion Bennett is a Boss Hog Gangsta that has no remorse for your water bill or your automobile for that matter, he cares about but five things in this world; A stuff animal named Hustla The Rabbit, Getting the Illuminati to reform there band on accepting felons, Getting his hands on some Poisonous dog treats, Making sure you believe his Indian date is Mexican and of course getting a copy of 2pac's first cd... LMAO

Kyle said...

I Want to meet both of you..haha and shit, i dont even know where to start, but u posted it so i dont have to tell u how amusing this is..lol thank you..made my day!!:))

Cassondra said...

lol this dood needa text me everyday lol :-) this was great. <3

Anonymous said...

This shit is so hilarious!! Your cousin should have his own sit come! I thought Seinfeld was funny, this is much funner!!

Anonymous said...

hahaha funny but one question why do you always have 100+ messages on your phone seems a bit ridiculous

Natalie said...

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! I think my favorite was the bit about Van Gogh!!!! This is hilarious ~I'd love to see more!

Anonymous said...

I am laughing so hard, omg. xD. I hope you continue to post these because its epic.

Anonymous said...

Bennett for President...of the BOSS HOG GANGSTAS!!!

Genius writing...I want more!

Please & Thank You

Mimi said...

SMH is disbelief. This can't be real, this can't be a real person. LMFAO!! He said he's going to sue the Illuminati for :prejdiss" Get outta here. One of the funniest things ever!!

natural91 said...

Your cousin is hilarious i couldnt astop laughing at all ...

Anonymous said...

Lmao!!! Omg!!!! This was absolutely hands down historical! This is going viral fast! Post more!!!!

Anonymous said...

Is this shit for real?

stephanie said...

FUCKING HILARIOUS!! don't ever stop posting this!!

Anonymous said...

Your cousin is an asshole, want to poison a dog who bite him for trespassing someone else's property? I want to shoot him in the face.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!! Please post more......

«Oldest ‹Older   201 – 400 of 474   Newer› Newest»