Thursday, December 1, 2011

Text From Bennett. The Funniest Ever

These are text messages i exchange with my 17 year old cousin bennett. he is a white boy that thinks he's a crip, works at amoco, has a girlfriend named mercedes, and is one of the most unintentionally funny and brilliant souls on the planet. He has no idea i do this blog. Yes, this is 100% real..













473 comments:

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Think for Free said...

oh my goodness...i am wiping away tears!
too funny :D

JC|♥ said...

LMAO!!! I could not stop laughing, your cousin is too much!!

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahahahaha he is so fuckin funny! it makes NO sense!!!!!!

MsHolly said...

omg..that was f*ckin hilarious!

Anonymous said...

lol thia guy is a goddamn moron i love it

Anonymous said...

AWESOME... some ppl have 1/2 a brain.. but thats what makes them funnier than most!

Jennipher said...

I am offically done! LOL! I don't think I could have taken anymore I'm glad it was over ROTFL!

Keshundra said...

Omg lol 2 funny I love it!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Omfg! Is this guy serious?! Did he get a high school diploma or at least a GED? He's a trip man

Anonymous said...

Rotflmaooooooooo

Anonymous said...

ignorance is funny now? seems like he has some mental disabilities i think instead of laughing at him you should get him some medical help

ladyjaydiva said...

frickin hilarious!

ScYellow said...

give me Bennett number hahahaha

KirbyTheAlmighty said...

These are all courtesy of Mac Lethal, by the way.

Anonymous said...

Kevin Hart brought me here!

Chrystal said...

Bennett is insanely funny, he needs his own show - call it "Text Message Humor" no! better yet, call it, "Texting with Bennett."

Anonymous said...

OMFG! People are looking at me crazy cause I can't stop laughing!!

Beautifullove714 said...

Omfg that shit was fukin hilarious. I'm in tears yo lol.. He is as funny as k.hart.. Rollin on the fukin floor.. @queenrunzish follow me I would love to read funny shit like this every damn day

Anonymous said...

Omg! I know people are wondering why I'm laughing so hard at this computer. Hilarious! It's hard to believe this is real.

Jennifer said...

omg lmfao. hahahaha. that was epic.

Yo_Cuervo said...

why do you have so many unanswered texts?

I know you famous, get an assistant

Anonymous said...

hilarious... but should it be textS from bennett?

Anonymous said...

Your cousin is hilarious, I need someone like that in my life so I can just laugh.

Anonymous said...

this is the funniest shit i ever seen..has me rollinlls

Anonymous said...

This dude needs to be on tour with you, he is HILARIOUS and it's funnier because he serious! LMAO

Anonymous said...

lol lmaooo and he was serious too!! this is Hilarious!!

none ya damn business said...

lmfaooo smh

temoi21@yahoo.com said...

Every thing above me DIDO...to fuckin funny

Anonymous said...

Wow..SMH...Lmao

CHOC DELOSA said...

LMMFAO....i got tears in my eyes from lol'n at this blog OMGGGGG!!! I gotta share this on my facebook page....LMAO @ HUSTLA THE RABBIT tho...that was hella funny!!

rachet said...

lmfao!!!! omg dhiss waz 2 funni

Anonymous said...

Lmaoooo Dis Kidd Got Nothing Else Betta To Do I Swear....Im #Weakkk

"I told yhu Bennet Is A Boss Hog GANGSTA" <<>>

chaffee...lol said...

I'm not even suppose to read stuff like this... what wll my Bishop think? THE FUNNIEST EVER... #ismythoughts

Anonymous said...

Wow funny I was laughing so hard he is funny as shit like wow!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

YEAH BRO. YOUR COUSIN HAS SOME REAL ISSUES, BUT HE IS A FUNNY DUDE!!!!!!!

Siki said...

I'm crying laugh right now!!unbelievable

Anonymous said...

Mac Mothafuckin' Lethal!!!

Nick said...

That kid is going to screw with the wrong person and end p on the news you might want to tell him to chill out.

Anonymous said...

this is fucked i sw the part where bennett says lil wayne says real g'z silent like lasagna and i was listning to that song and as i read it it played

Condittere said...

That was so funny I almost peed on myself!!! The one that got me was call her a Mexican!!! Too much

Anonymous said...

Lmfbo. Dumb as hell, lmfno!

Lisa K said...

I pissed myself laughing at this fool!!

Ariel said...

ohmagawd that was awesome. i can't believe that was actually real! WOW!

Anonymous said...

Yo I wanna be this dude friend he can call me or text me anyday!...yo I haven't laughed so freaken hard in years I litterally cried!...n may pissed my pants!...lmao

Anonymous said...

Omg this is 2 funny! !!

MsThunda said...

LMAO @Jumping Jacks!!!!

lovleywilson said...

well i never this is the funniest!!-i think u guys should turn this in to a play and get ur tyler perry on,and call the play white (chocalate)-bennett would be so proud of me right now:) hit me up 4 more details and u damn right i would share this link@lovleywilson@facebook.com-wat r u gonna do do when ur cousin finds out? cant wait much love!!

Anonymous said...

hilarious!!!!! idk y the vince vaughn one was the funniest to me.

Janaya said...

ROTLFLMFAOOOOOOO omgoshhhhhhhh dat was da funniest n dumbiest thng i hav evaa read like omgoshh he betta be cute cause if not he will not get far in life due to da fact dat he is extremely DuMb!!!! Lmaoo good shyt Kev<3 .....<3

Lilsexxy said...

Omg! Bennett iz supa dupa slow!! His new name iz Turtle!! Funny az hell! Some1 buy dude a dictionary for Christmas!!LMMFAO!!

Anonymous said...

i almost choked a a fruit snack laughin at your cousin

Anonymous said...

I dont see how u kept tht convo goin tht long.... omg wow

Anonymous said...

Although he sadly seems illiterate and a bit retarded, i can see why everyone including myself thinks its freaking hilarious.. to damn funny ... hope he never finds out you upload his texts to a blog... ;-p

Maddie's Mom said...

ROTFLCTFU! Oh My Goodness! Poor Bennett. He is freaking HILARIOUS. I cant stop laughing.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god...this shit is hilarious...

Anonymous said...

WTF?!!! That boy needs to go back to school. A grown ass man should know how to spell! *Embarrassment*!!

Unknown said...

I want to text Bennett! Kevin Hart put me on this.... Funny as hell!

Miss Missy said...

Real Talk you just made my day! those are the conversations i have with my older brother... I thought i was the only person that was blessed with these intelligent conversations! I love it!

Spitfirefury said...

I need a friend like Bennett!!! Tooooooo funny!!!

candis said...

Wow thiis is too funny OMG i cant stop laughing, that is one crazy white boy.

Anonymous said...

OMGGG!!! Bwahahahahahaaha!! Poor little Tink Tink!!! He said thats being "prejadiss" Im too through!!!

Anonymous said...

Do you really get 500000 for joining illuminati

erica said...

Hahaha that shit is hilarious. My life would be complete if I had him to text hahaha

Anonymous said...

dis nigga is fuckin stupid.... yo ur cousin is fuckin stupid...real talk...n his girl is another fuckin idiot for being wit a dumb nigga....OMG...but i'm not goin to lie...dis shit is fuckin hilarious of how much of a dumbass dis white boy is...n all i gotta say is to whoever posted dis convo...i give u mad credit but for ur cousin tell him dis: FUCK YOU NIGGA...U SOFT N A DUMB NIGGA TOO...U AINT NO GANGSTA...n pick up a book n learn how to speak n write nigga...lmao @ u dumb nigga

Anonymous said...

Whoo! I cant breathe!!! The funniest ish ever! The spelling is hilarious...BTW I need u to check ur mesages too with those hundreds of messages waiting lol. U must be popular! lol #keepthesecomin

Anonymous said...

*dead* He is hilarious!!! EVERYONE should have a Bennett in their life! Dont judge, we all got issues...being simple is his..... a gift and a curse- but you gotta love him for it!! LMAO!

Anonymous said...

@ crystal, it shud b called "Textit wit Bennett"

Dona Deri said...

OMG I am sitting at work dying laughing lol. "I told her to do jumping jacks" lol

Anonymous said...

OMG....i am at work laughing out loud this is to freaking funny where do you find friends like this

Anonymous said...

The funniest dumbest shit ever I would love to meet his silly ass

Anonymous said...

OK that seriously just made my day. LMAO!!! Your cousin is just like this guy I grew up with! His dad is super rich, he is a spoiled white boy and he acts JUST like your cousin.

evie said...

Lmaoooo off day chain

Anonymous said...

I swear this was the highlight of my day. I almost got in trouble at work for laughing so damn hard...

Sweetz said...

OMG!! this so so funny you should never get bored with someone like him around!!!

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!! I DAMN NEAR PISSED MY PANTS READING THIS !!!!! YO THIS SHYT WAS HILARIOUS

Mimi said...

Oh No...I'm DEAD.
iCant. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA....this had me laughing so hard, I was coughing and almost vomited. lol

Anonymous said...

PLEASE PUT MORE ! OMGG

Niecey said...

Lmmfao @ this, my mans gettin mad cuz I'm laughin too hard to explain why!!!!

Anonymous said...

Where bennet at? he need a fucking show. Dude funny as shit.

angie said...

omg funniest shit i ever read in my life

Anonymous said...

son this cant be real!!!! u need to get him on video saying some of this shit!

sexiibrowneyes21 said...

This was hilarious!! Haha I'm seriously lmao right now!!

Anonymous said...

FREQQN HILARIOUS!

Bri said...

This is clearly the child that No Child Left Behind left behind...

Anonymous said...

Bennet is too funni especially about the bath salts lol

Anonymous said...

OMFG.....My whole face hurts from LMFAO!!

Andrea3273 said...

I am wipin my tears of a da laugh! Share some more!

Anonymous said...

WOW ...I commend you for having the patience to talk with him ... I wouldn't whether to laugh or be annoyed by his stupidity .. I guess laughing would be best smdh ROTFF

B said...

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo owe owe owe.............my side hurtin from laughing so hard, lmao...!!!

Anonymous said...

ima lie n say shes mexican lmao thats a good one

Anonymous said...

Ohmygeese I'm cryn ! There's no more ?? That shyt was funny !

Eb said...

Lmao hell naw...

Anonymous said...

Lmao..."she from India"!!

Anonymous said...

This the funniest shit ever. Im in tears. I

Devo said...

What is equally amusing and disturbing is how many of the comments on here demonstrate the same level of literacy and intelligence as Bennett's texts. Can anyone in this country still spell? Christ, our future is doomed.

Anonymous said...

I don't know whats funnier. This or the comment left at 12:57 today. I will assume his other cousin is who commented. Lol.

Nayely Enciso said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

hahaha love how you actually reply. i mean how can you not reply back? hahaha i need a friend like this..... LOL

Anonymous said...

Bennett is a beast!

Blizz said...

Dat shit silly as hell... I wanna see more! Lmao @ she can sleep in the garage!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow...How patient you are to reply to him like that. He is definitely funny but I would get frustrated at times, I'm sure. God bless him. LOL

jaybond007 said...

Yo that lasagna line had me weak I was sittin in a library and just started to obnoxiously laugh, im still laughing now.

C@yCeBoyWiLl said...

Dude is wild as fuck, seems he has alot of freetime and has alot of random thoughts lllloooollll super funny

Anonymous said...

I have an idiot of a friend just like this. wish i had my iphone still lol

Anonymous said...

this is that hood gangsta sh!t. lol for real this was worth the ten minutes to read. funny as f^ck! :]

Anonymous said...

For the love of all that is good and holy in this world post more...

Anonymous said...

Alright, alright, alright, everybody stop...This shit has to be made up...I mean really no one can be that dumb and not know it! I just died

AmayaRaiyne said...

Laughed so hard I pissed myself...I need frinds like this in my life...NOW!!!

Anonymous said...

"do jumping jacks to get the sperm out" ...lmfao, oh cousin bennett, how you make us full of laughter

Anonymous said...

I'M LITERALLY CTFU AT THIS!! LMFFAAOOOOO!

Anonymous said...

OOOOOMG!!! im dying laughing right now. Im sooo DONE. its so funny cuz he is dead ass serious! wtf. BUT he better stop saying the N***a word if he is a white boy.....Jus saying, dont let his black friends hear him.

Unknown said...

I drew you a picture... You really should look at it :)

http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j331/sunnymrodgers/HustlerDaBunny.jpg

Anonymous said...

LMAOOOOOOOOO I LOVE this! It's important to keep crazy asses like Bennett around you so you can always know how important it is to get an education and have common sense!

I love you Bennett!

luvlee_timae said...

ctfu that boy is a fuckin fool

Anonymous said...

Wow.....I understand that txtn has ruined my spelling, but Damn!...#765AndersonMuncieWeInHere!

Anonymous said...

Not to sound like a jerk but that was the funniest and saddest thing I've ever read. I started laughing out loud and then I wondered what the hell your cousin is going to do for a job. Or a girlfriend. Or a life. Thank god he has you to talk to. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

lmmfaooo like someone said earlier can I have Bennet's number I want to text with him, lmmfaooo he is too funny!!!

Anonymous said...

This proves there should be a test to pass before anyone can vote

Unknown said...

http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j331/sunnymrodgers/HustlerDaBunny.jpg

Anonymous said...

dude! read your other messages!! but hilarious- i think my fave is lasagna

SirElFreako said...

this absolutely needs it's own Facebook page. HOLY SHIT this cat's hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I am changing my name to "Hustla Da Rabbit" end of...

Anonymous said...

This just significantly improved my life.

Anonymous said...

Mannn Bennet dumb af I'm killin myself laughin(<---yess I had to spell it out) over here we discussin him on bbm n he needs to have one lol

Bennett said...

omg..... i love the comments everyone and im going to do more... and i also make music follow me on twitter @gogetta_muzik and facebook is gogettamusic like it and check back for updates of my dumb cousin

SUPASHEEN!!! said...

DAMN!! I THINK I PEED A LITTLE!! IM STILL FUCKIN CRYIN!!! THANX!

Hiram2000 said...

LMMFAO, I have to say that is some of the funniest stuff, I've ever read in my life, that dude is mad funny!

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest mess!! My damn stomach hurts from laughing so hard!!

Anonymous said...

OMG. THis is so F*ing funny. I love how he thinks he's so f*ing smart. Can't stop laughing!!!!!

blair said...

anyone else notice how many unread messages this guy has, holy shit dude you need to read those

Anonymous said...

fake but funny

Anonymous said...

lmfaoooo! keep posting this shit!

Alyssa said...

Hahaha!! That's Awesome!! Makes You Feel So Smart With Him Huh?!

Anonymous said...

Wow, how pathetic. I don't think it's nearly as funny as it is sad that this is real. Not judging... seriously. It's just a really sad situation to me.

trisha j2 said...

k hart sent us.... man this is just too funny. made ne laugh today. smacked my forehead for reading this blog lol

Anonymous said...

I'm crying so hard right now it ain't even funny I'm at work and if somebody walk in OMG...LMAO

Anonymous said...

Omg omg omg!! I am crying so hard from laughing. Maybe even pee'd a little lol! Please please pleeeeeaaaaase keep posting more. I need this laughter everyday! LMFAO!

Anonymous said...

this motherfucker is fuckin' dumbass.

Anonymous said...

This had me in tears!! I want to see more!!

Anonymous said...

Text from Bennett are now required at least once a week! You can't make stuff like this up!

Anonymous said...

I need a face to go with this!!!!

Anonymous said...

Lol, I laughed on the inside...Bennett you silly ass.

Tayter said...

O m Gee....ihave a cousin like this....I have to warn people before I formally introduce them......like....listen.....she is seriously a nut job...do not I repeat do not be offended by anything this idiot says

Anonymous said...

This is totally fake and it wasn't even funny at all. People get so amused over idiots like this so-called "Bennett". It's very pitiful.

Anonymous said...

Um...not all that funny. Maybe its just me...?

Anonymous said...

I need to see text from Bennett everyday...SO HILARIOUS !!!!

Anonymous said...

Who knew stupidity & ignorance could be so funny

Anonymous said...

This is sooo funny. He was so for real about that indian girl too. smdh.

Anonymous said...

This is so funny! It's epic!

Anonymous said...

I am seriously crying laughing! Friggin HILARIOUS!

Anonymous said...

Please keep these coming. Devote an entire blog to this. I'm crying.

nattykins said...

I seriously almost pissed myself just now.

Anonymous said...

[IMG]http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j331/sunnymrodgers/HustlerDaBunny.jpg[/IMG]

Hey Cairra said...

ROFLMAO!!! This is the funniest thing i have ever read in life. Kudos

Anonymous said...

didnt find this funny at all. american ignornace and stupitity is such a shame.

Tiffany Tadaa said...

OMG!!!!! funniest mess ever!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

lmfao that shit was funny lol

Anonymous said...

Как, черт возьми, я получаю эту воду из моего автомобиля??

Anonymous said...

Lmao this is like if Dom Mazzetti did a txt message blog

Anonymous said...

tht was your car^^^

TheFantom said...

Mac Lethal created this. Google him, he is the best rapper you haven't heard yet. Twitter.com/MacLethal666

Anonymous said...

Why do you have so many unread text messages? 146, that's just crazy

Anonymous said...

that boy couldnt find his ass with both hands

bob jones said...

i'd like to meat bennegt's russian hoe neighbor. how do i do dat?

Anonymous said...

omg i saw this on kevin hart's wall glad i came here this was too funny.

Justin said...

This is fake. In one of the messages it says that his father is 30, but at the top it says that Bennett is 17. That would have made Bennett's father 13 when he had him, which is extremely unlikely. So, it's fake.

Anonymous said...

to justin: the person who's phone it is, is 30. not bennett's father. they're cousins... and anyway it might be fake but either way it's fking hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I was having THE most stressed out day at work, came across this and I am STILL wiping tears from my eyes!

Anonymous said...

NANS

GucciKisses said...

THIS IS HILARIOUS BENNETT IS A FUCKIN FOOL I WOULD ENTERTAIN HIM TOO BY RESPONDING... BUT IF HE DONT GET HIS SPELLING CHECKED IMA HAVE TO TUTOR HIM BECAUSE HE IS OUTTA LINE... BUT IM REALLY WEAKKKKKKKK

Anonymous said...

i love this guy

Kristin said...

Justin: It says nothing about his father being 30..

PRICELESS ENTERTAINMENT! I <3 you Kevin!!

Anonymous said...

this is funny stuff! And so honest! LOL

Anonymous said...

More please!!!

Anonymous said...

Outta line, lmmfao. ! I wish I had his number I wuld text him allll day!

Anonymous said...

So after reading your introduction paragraph, I was wondering why you would abbreviate "cripple". After I laughed and shook my head the entire time reading it I re-read the introduction. I am too white for introductions sometimes.

Anonymous said...

To dawn Funny...... ROTFDLMAO

Anonymous said...

OMG! I am weak! LOLOLOL!

Anonymous said...

Please post more!

LeighBlaque said...

This was so fu*king funny!!! I literallllly cried laughing.... your cousin was born a comedian!!!

Anonymous said...

WOW! Bennett should meet my friend! I took her to ihop and she squealed when she saw the creamers and said "oooh little milks!!" and drank the half and halfs straight out of the container!! I think they'd get along well! LMAO!! TOOOO FUNNY!

Anonymous said...

WOW! Anyone else feel their IQ drop by the second?

Alex said...

I love how you sometimes correct him (which is hilarious) and then sometimes you just mess with him and go along with whatever he says... this is the funniest website I have ever been to in my life. Completely serious this is the best.

claireBear said...

I'd love to be a fly on his wall and witness this dude in action. Classic.

Anonymous said...

WHY do you constantly have 100+ unread text messages? That's insane.

Anonymous said...

That test tube baby is reason why his mom should have swallowed.

B'lush said...

Reading dat was like watchn boondocks!!! Omg hes a moron!!! Bwahahahahaha ctfu!

dannymartin214@ said...

that shit be leavin me speakless

Anonymous said...

This is not real. There is no way someone that stupid and can't spell would know about van gogh and his ear being cut off.

Anonymous said...

give him a show call it "BFT" which stands for Bennett's Fucking Texts

Pres said...

this is straight hilarious

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!! sad thing is I have relatives just like this..

Anonymous said...

That honkigga, Bennett is going to kick yo' ass when he finds out about this blog...hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Ummm..wouldn't the auto spell function on an iPhone correct all of this misspellings?

Anonymous said...

that boy dannymartin214 be hilarious

sexiitabii said...

Lmao! I love it...randomness is hilarious, an yo cuz is the most random ass person I ever seen! This ish priceless! I love that he filled his neighbor's car wit water! Haha...an jumpin jacks to get tha sperm out?! Damn son...hilarious!

dildofred said...

"this shit be leaving me speakless"dannymartin214 lmao

Anonymous said...

man u gotta keep blogging this i would love to read some more!!

Anonymous said...

Omg this is hilarious, keep them coming!

Anonymous said...

God bless your cousin..............im speechlesss.......

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