Thursday, December 1, 2011

Text From Bennett. The Funniest Ever

These are text messages i exchange with my 17 year old cousin bennett. he is a white boy that thinks he's a crip, works at amoco, has a girlfriend named mercedes, and is one of the most unintentionally funny and brilliant souls on the planet. He has no idea i do this blog. Yes, this is 100% real..













471 comments:

  1. oh my goodness...i am wiping away tears!
    too funny :D

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  2. LMAO!!! I could not stop laughing, your cousin is too much!!

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  3. hahahahahahahahahahaha he is so fuckin funny! it makes NO sense!!!!!!

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  4. omg..that was f*ckin hilarious!

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  5. lol thia guy is a goddamn moron i love it

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  6. AWESOME... some ppl have 1/2 a brain.. but thats what makes them funnier than most!

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  7. I am offically done! LOL! I don't think I could have taken anymore I'm glad it was over ROTFL!

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  8. Omg lol 2 funny I love it!!!!!!!

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  9. Omfg! Is this guy serious?! Did he get a high school diploma or at least a GED? He's a trip man

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  10. ignorance is funny now? seems like he has some mental disabilities i think instead of laughing at him you should get him some medical help

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  11. These are all courtesy of Mac Lethal, by the way.

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  12. Kevin Hart brought me here!

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  13. Bennett is insanely funny, he needs his own show - call it "Text Message Humor" no! better yet, call it, "Texting with Bennett."

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  14. OMFG! People are looking at me crazy cause I can't stop laughing!!

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  15. Omfg that shit was fukin hilarious. I'm in tears yo lol.. He is as funny as k.hart.. Rollin on the fukin floor.. @queenrunzish follow me I would love to read funny shit like this every damn day

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  16. Omg! I know people are wondering why I'm laughing so hard at this computer. Hilarious! It's hard to believe this is real.

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  17. omg lmfao. hahahaha. that was epic.

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  18. why do you have so many unanswered texts?

    I know you famous, get an assistant

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  19. hilarious... but should it be textS from bennett?

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  20. Your cousin is hilarious, I need someone like that in my life so I can just laugh.

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  21. this is the funniest shit i ever seen..has me rollinlls

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  22. This dude needs to be on tour with you, he is HILARIOUS and it's funnier because he serious! LMAO

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  23. lol lmaooo and he was serious too!! this is Hilarious!!

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  24. none ya damn businessDecember 1, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    lmfaooo smh

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  25. Every thing above me DIDO...to fuckin funny

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  26. LMMFAO....i got tears in my eyes from lol'n at this blog OMGGGGG!!! I gotta share this on my facebook page....LMAO @ HUSTLA THE RABBIT tho...that was hella funny!!

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  27. lmfao!!!! omg dhiss waz 2 funni

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  28. Lmaoooo Dis Kidd Got Nothing Else Betta To Do I Swear....Im #Weakkk

    "I told yhu Bennet Is A Boss Hog GANGSTA" <<>>

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  29. I'm not even suppose to read stuff like this... what wll my Bishop think? THE FUNNIEST EVER... #ismythoughts

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  30. Wow funny I was laughing so hard he is funny as shit like wow!!!!!!!

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  31. YEAH BRO. YOUR COUSIN HAS SOME REAL ISSUES, BUT HE IS A FUNNY DUDE!!!!!!!

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  32. I'm crying laugh right now!!unbelievable

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  33. Mac Mothafuckin' Lethal!!!

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  34. That kid is going to screw with the wrong person and end p on the news you might want to tell him to chill out.

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  35. this is fucked i sw the part where bennett says lil wayne says real g'z silent like lasagna and i was listning to that song and as i read it it played

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  36. That was so funny I almost peed on myself!!! The one that got me was call her a Mexican!!! Too much

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  37. Lmfbo. Dumb as hell, lmfno!

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  38. I pissed myself laughing at this fool!!

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  39. ohmagawd that was awesome. i can't believe that was actually real! WOW!

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  40. Yo I wanna be this dude friend he can call me or text me anyday!...yo I haven't laughed so freaken hard in years I litterally cried!...n may pissed my pants!...lmao

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  41. Omg this is 2 funny! !!

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  42. well i never this is the funniest!!-i think u guys should turn this in to a play and get ur tyler perry on,and call the play white (chocalate)-bennett would be so proud of me right now:) hit me up 4 more details and u damn right i would share this link@lovleywilson@facebook.com-wat r u gonna do do when ur cousin finds out? cant wait much love!!

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  43. hilarious!!!!! idk y the vince vaughn one was the funniest to me.

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  44. ROTLFLMFAOOOOOOO omgoshhhhhhhh dat was da funniest n dumbiest thng i hav evaa read like omgoshh he betta be cute cause if not he will not get far in life due to da fact dat he is extremely DuMb!!!! Lmaoo good shyt Kev<3 .....<3

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  45. Omg! Bennett iz supa dupa slow!! His new name iz Turtle!! Funny az hell! Some1 buy dude a dictionary for Christmas!!LMMFAO!!

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  46. i almost choked a a fruit snack laughin at your cousin

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  47. I dont see how u kept tht convo goin tht long.... omg wow

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  48. Although he sadly seems illiterate and a bit retarded, i can see why everyone including myself thinks its freaking hilarious.. to damn funny ... hope he never finds out you upload his texts to a blog... ;-p

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  49. ROTFLCTFU! Oh My Goodness! Poor Bennett. He is freaking HILARIOUS. I cant stop laughing.

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  50. Oh my god...this shit is hilarious...

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  51. WTF?!!! That boy needs to go back to school. A grown ass man should know how to spell! *Embarrassment*!!

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  52. I want to text Bennett! Kevin Hart put me on this.... Funny as hell!

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  53. Real Talk you just made my day! those are the conversations i have with my older brother... I thought i was the only person that was blessed with these intelligent conversations! I love it!

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  54. I need a friend like Bennett!!! Tooooooo funny!!!

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  55. Wow thiis is too funny OMG i cant stop laughing, that is one crazy white boy.

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  56. OMGGG!!! Bwahahahahahaaha!! Poor little Tink Tink!!! He said thats being "prejadiss" Im too through!!!

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  57. Do you really get 500000 for joining illuminati

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  58. Hahaha that shit is hilarious. My life would be complete if I had him to text hahaha

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  59. dis nigga is fuckin stupid.... yo ur cousin is fuckin stupid...real talk...n his girl is another fuckin idiot for being wit a dumb nigga....OMG...but i'm not goin to lie...dis shit is fuckin hilarious of how much of a dumbass dis white boy is...n all i gotta say is to whoever posted dis convo...i give u mad credit but for ur cousin tell him dis: FUCK YOU NIGGA...U SOFT N A DUMB NIGGA TOO...U AINT NO GANGSTA...n pick up a book n learn how to speak n write nigga...lmao @ u dumb nigga

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  60. Whoo! I cant breathe!!! The funniest ish ever! The spelling is hilarious...BTW I need u to check ur mesages too with those hundreds of messages waiting lol. U must be popular! lol #keepthesecomin

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  61. *dead* He is hilarious!!! EVERYONE should have a Bennett in their life! Dont judge, we all got issues...being simple is his..... a gift and a curse- but you gotta love him for it!! LMAO!

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  62. @ crystal, it shud b called "Textit wit Bennett"

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  63. OMG I am sitting at work dying laughing lol. "I told her to do jumping jacks" lol

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  64. OMG....i am at work laughing out loud this is to freaking funny where do you find friends like this

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  65. The funniest dumbest shit ever I would love to meet his silly ass

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  66. OK that seriously just made my day. LMAO!!! Your cousin is just like this guy I grew up with! His dad is super rich, he is a spoiled white boy and he acts JUST like your cousin.

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  67. I swear this was the highlight of my day. I almost got in trouble at work for laughing so damn hard...

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  68. OMG!! this so so funny you should never get bored with someone like him around!!!

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  69. OMG!!!! I DAMN NEAR PISSED MY PANTS READING THIS !!!!! YO THIS SHYT WAS HILARIOUS

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  70. Oh No...I'm DEAD.
    iCant. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA....this had me laughing so hard, I was coughing and almost vomited. lol

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  71. PLEASE PUT MORE ! OMGG

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  72. Lmmfao @ this, my mans gettin mad cuz I'm laughin too hard to explain why!!!!

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  73. Where bennet at? he need a fucking show. Dude funny as shit.

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  74. omg funniest shit i ever read in my life

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  75. son this cant be real!!!! u need to get him on video saying some of this shit!

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  76. This was hilarious!! Haha I'm seriously lmao right now!!

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  77. FREQQN HILARIOUS!

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  78. This is clearly the child that No Child Left Behind left behind...

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  79. Bennet is too funni especially about the bath salts lol

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  80. OMFG.....My whole face hurts from LMFAO!!

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  81. I am wipin my tears of a da laugh! Share some more!

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  82. WOW ...I commend you for having the patience to talk with him ... I wouldn't whether to laugh or be annoyed by his stupidity .. I guess laughing would be best smdh ROTFF

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  83. lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo owe owe owe.............my side hurtin from laughing so hard, lmao...!!!

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  84. ima lie n say shes mexican lmao thats a good one

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  85. Ohmygeese I'm cryn ! There's no more ?? That shyt was funny !

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  86. Lmao..."she from India"!!

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  87. This the funniest shit ever. Im in tears. I

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  88. What is equally amusing and disturbing is how many of the comments on here demonstrate the same level of literacy and intelligence as Bennett's texts. Can anyone in this country still spell? Christ, our future is doomed.

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  89. I don't know whats funnier. This or the comment left at 12:57 today. I will assume his other cousin is who commented. Lol.

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  90. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  91. hahaha love how you actually reply. i mean how can you not reply back? hahaha i need a friend like this..... LOL

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  92. Bennett is a beast!

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  93. Dat shit silly as hell... I wanna see more! Lmao @ she can sleep in the garage!!!

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  94. Wow...How patient you are to reply to him like that. He is definitely funny but I would get frustrated at times, I'm sure. God bless him. LOL

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  95. Yo that lasagna line had me weak I was sittin in a library and just started to obnoxiously laugh, im still laughing now.

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  96. Dude is wild as fuck, seems he has alot of freetime and has alot of random thoughts lllloooollll super funny

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  97. I have an idiot of a friend just like this. wish i had my iphone still lol

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  98. this is that hood gangsta sh!t. lol for real this was worth the ten minutes to read. funny as f^ck! :]

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  99. For the love of all that is good and holy in this world post more...

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  100. Alright, alright, alright, everybody stop...This shit has to be made up...I mean really no one can be that dumb and not know it! I just died

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  101. Laughed so hard I pissed myself...I need frinds like this in my life...NOW!!!

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  102. "do jumping jacks to get the sperm out" ...lmfao, oh cousin bennett, how you make us full of laughter

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  103. I'M LITERALLY CTFU AT THIS!! LMFFAAOOOOO!

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  104. OOOOOMG!!! im dying laughing right now. Im sooo DONE. its so funny cuz he is dead ass serious! wtf. BUT he better stop saying the N***a word if he is a white boy.....Jus saying, dont let his black friends hear him.

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  105. I drew you a picture... You really should look at it :)

    http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j331/sunnymrodgers/HustlerDaBunny.jpg

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  106. LMAOOOOOOOOO I LOVE this! It's important to keep crazy asses like Bennett around you so you can always know how important it is to get an education and have common sense!

    I love you Bennett!

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  107. Wow.....I understand that txtn has ruined my spelling, but Damn!...#765AndersonMuncieWeInHere!

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  108. Not to sound like a jerk but that was the funniest and saddest thing I've ever read. I started laughing out loud and then I wondered what the hell your cousin is going to do for a job. Or a girlfriend. Or a life. Thank god he has you to talk to. Keep up the good work.

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  109. lmmfaooo like someone said earlier can I have Bennet's number I want to text with him, lmmfaooo he is too funny!!!

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  110. This proves there should be a test to pass before anyone can vote

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  111. http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j331/sunnymrodgers/HustlerDaBunny.jpg

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  112. dude! read your other messages!! but hilarious- i think my fave is lasagna

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  113. this absolutely needs it's own Facebook page. HOLY SHIT this cat's hilarious.

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  114. I am changing my name to "Hustla Da Rabbit" end of...

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  115. This just significantly improved my life.

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  116. Mannn Bennet dumb af I'm killin myself laughin(<---yess I had to spell it out) over here we discussin him on bbm n he needs to have one lol

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  117. omg..... i love the comments everyone and im going to do more... and i also make music follow me on twitter @gogetta_muzik and facebook is gogettamusic like it and check back for updates of my dumb cousin

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  118. DAMN!! I THINK I PEED A LITTLE!! IM STILL FUCKIN CRYIN!!! THANX!

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  119. LMMFAO, I have to say that is some of the funniest stuff, I've ever read in my life, that dude is mad funny!

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  120. This is the funniest mess!! My damn stomach hurts from laughing so hard!!

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  121. OMG. THis is so F*ing funny. I love how he thinks he's so f*ing smart. Can't stop laughing!!!!!

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  122. anyone else notice how many unread messages this guy has, holy shit dude you need to read those

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  123. lmfaoooo! keep posting this shit!

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  124. Hahaha!! That's Awesome!! Makes You Feel So Smart With Him Huh?!

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  125. Wow, how pathetic. I don't think it's nearly as funny as it is sad that this is real. Not judging... seriously. It's just a really sad situation to me.

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  126. k hart sent us.... man this is just too funny. made ne laugh today. smacked my forehead for reading this blog lol

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  127. I'm crying so hard right now it ain't even funny I'm at work and if somebody walk in OMG...LMAO

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  128. Omg omg omg!! I am crying so hard from laughing. Maybe even pee'd a little lol! Please please pleeeeeaaaaase keep posting more. I need this laughter everyday! LMFAO!

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  129. this motherfucker is fuckin' dumbass.

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  130. This had me in tears!! I want to see more!!

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  131. Text from Bennett are now required at least once a week! You can't make stuff like this up!

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  132. I need a face to go with this!!!!

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  133. Lol, I laughed on the inside...Bennett you silly ass.

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  134. O m Gee....ihave a cousin like this....I have to warn people before I formally introduce them......like....listen.....she is seriously a nut job...do not I repeat do not be offended by anything this idiot says

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  135. This is totally fake and it wasn't even funny at all. People get so amused over idiots like this so-called "Bennett". It's very pitiful.

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  136. Um...not all that funny. Maybe its just me...?

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  137. I need to see text from Bennett everyday...SO HILARIOUS !!!!

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  138. Who knew stupidity & ignorance could be so funny

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  139. This is sooo funny. He was so for real about that indian girl too. smdh.

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  140. This is so funny! It's epic!

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  141. I am seriously crying laughing! Friggin HILARIOUS!

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  142. Please keep these coming. Devote an entire blog to this. I'm crying.

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  143. I seriously almost pissed myself just now.

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  144. [IMG]http://i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j331/sunnymrodgers/HustlerDaBunny.jpg[/IMG]

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  145. ROFLMAO!!! This is the funniest thing i have ever read in life. Kudos

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  146. didnt find this funny at all. american ignornace and stupitity is such a shame.

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  147. lmfao that shit was funny lol

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  148. Как, черт возьми, я получаю эту воду из моего автомобиля??

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  149. Lmao this is like if Dom Mazzetti did a txt message blog

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  150. tht was your car^^^

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  151. Mac Lethal created this. Google him, he is the best rapper you haven't heard yet. Twitter.com/MacLethal666

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  152. Why do you have so many unread text messages? 146, that's just crazy

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  153. that boy couldnt find his ass with both hands

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  154. i'd like to meat bennegt's russian hoe neighbor. how do i do dat?

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  155. omg i saw this on kevin hart's wall glad i came here this was too funny.

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  156. This is fake. In one of the messages it says that his father is 30, but at the top it says that Bennett is 17. That would have made Bennett's father 13 when he had him, which is extremely unlikely. So, it's fake.

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  157. to justin: the person who's phone it is, is 30. not bennett's father. they're cousins... and anyway it might be fake but either way it's fking hilarious.

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  158. I was having THE most stressed out day at work, came across this and I am STILL wiping tears from my eyes!

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  159. THIS IS HILARIOUS BENNETT IS A FUCKIN FOOL I WOULD ENTERTAIN HIM TOO BY RESPONDING... BUT IF HE DONT GET HIS SPELLING CHECKED IMA HAVE TO TUTOR HIM BECAUSE HE IS OUTTA LINE... BUT IM REALLY WEAKKKKKKKK

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  160. Justin: It says nothing about his father being 30..

    PRICELESS ENTERTAINMENT! I <3 you Kevin!!

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  161. this is funny stuff! And so honest! LOL

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  162. Outta line, lmmfao. ! I wish I had his number I wuld text him allll day!

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  163. So after reading your introduction paragraph, I was wondering why you would abbreviate "cripple". After I laughed and shook my head the entire time reading it I re-read the introduction. I am too white for introductions sometimes.

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  164. To dawn Funny...... ROTFDLMAO

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  165. OMG! I am weak! LOLOLOL!

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  166. Please post more!

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  167. This was so fu*king funny!!! I literallllly cried laughing.... your cousin was born a comedian!!!

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  168. WOW! Bennett should meet my friend! I took her to ihop and she squealed when she saw the creamers and said "oooh little milks!!" and drank the half and halfs straight out of the container!! I think they'd get along well! LMAO!! TOOOO FUNNY!

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  169. WOW! Anyone else feel their IQ drop by the second?

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  170. I love how you sometimes correct him (which is hilarious) and then sometimes you just mess with him and go along with whatever he says... this is the funniest website I have ever been to in my life. Completely serious this is the best.

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  171. I'd love to be a fly on his wall and witness this dude in action. Classic.

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  172. WHY do you constantly have 100+ unread text messages? That's insane.

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  173. That test tube baby is reason why his mom should have swallowed.

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  174. Reading dat was like watchn boondocks!!! Omg hes a moron!!! Bwahahahahaha ctfu!

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  175. that shit be leavin me speakless

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  176. This is not real. There is no way someone that stupid and can't spell would know about van gogh and his ear being cut off.

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  177. give him a show call it "BFT" which stands for Bennett's Fucking Texts

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  178. Hahaha!! sad thing is I have relatives just like this..

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  179. That honkigga, Bennett is going to kick yo' ass when he finds out about this blog...hilarious!

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  180. Ummm..wouldn't the auto spell function on an iPhone correct all of this misspellings?

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  181. that boy dannymartin214 be hilarious

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  182. Lmao! I love it...randomness is hilarious, an yo cuz is the most random ass person I ever seen! This ish priceless! I love that he filled his neighbor's car wit water! Haha...an jumpin jacks to get tha sperm out?! Damn son...hilarious!

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  183. "this shit be leaving me speakless"dannymartin214 lmao

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  184. man u gotta keep blogging this i would love to read some more!!

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  185. Omg this is hilarious, keep them coming!

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  186. God bless your cousin..............im speechlesss.......

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